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Excersus XXXV: Impossible Apostle

         

We don't know a heck of a lot about most of the apostles. That's not surprising, as what we have in the Bible and accompanying sacred texts is a stack of contradictory works the authenticity of which got voted on by a bunch of guys, some 360 years after the events they describe, at the Synod of Hippo. By that time, several of the apostles were just names that showed up in the Gospels from time to time, which was probably the best thing for them. I often wonder what those men must have been like, to feel that they could sit in their chairs, talk amongst themselves for a few hours, and then VOTE on what ended up in the Bible. That takes some balls. In any case, what we have now is not what Jesus thought, or even what the apostles thought, but what those guys in that room wanted us to think that they thought.

- Count Dolby von Luckner